Integrity, Positivity and Good Manners

            This is a difficult piece to write.  It has been on my mind for a very long time and I have been searching for the words to express my intent.  It borders very closely upon political agendas, but those are not my sole premise.   For those of you who know me you are aware that I deliberately avoid such discussion.  Civil discourse is non-existent on social media and I prefer such discussions face to face in a non-threatening and comfortable environment.  I am certainly not apolitical, but I make no attempt to foist my beliefs on others.  I prefer to believe that people are inherently intelligent enough to make their own determinations.  I would not dare to presume that it’s “my way or the highway,” but I believe that more and more of the population certainly believes that old adage.  Let me approach this slippery slope on three different levels.

            Integrity.  It is my belief that integrity is the most important of the tenets to follow.  If there is no integrity and honesty in making life choices it becomes irrelevant and meaningless.  Robert L. Woodrum wrote:  “You have the right to remain silent, but you can never repeat, never lie or shade the truth.”  Samuel Johnson wrote: “Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.”  We live in an age of instant news.  A leaf falls in Peru and it is on the 10 o’clock news.  Headline:  Peruvian Leaf Falls! Global Warming  Imminent!  Facebook is full of (dare I say it!) fake news that is deliberately satirical.  The problem is that individuals read it and take it as the gospel truth.  What does this have to do with integrity, you ask?  What you have to examine is the intent of the “news.”  Therefore, I maintain that the integrity has to do with first the writer of the piece and secondly the one who passes it on.  The written word carries great power and when literacy became the norm it became even more powerful.  Consider John Wesley.  It can foment hope and it can also foment fear.  I remember the fear that gripped many when John F. Kennedy became president it was widely believed that the Vatican would be running the country because of reckless journalism and sermons full of hysteria.  Lack of integrity among those who inform us is dangerous as well as those who pass it on.  The naysayers, the doomsday crowd, the agenda driven individuals, the heretics and others carry loaded words that can seriously harm.  Visions of dead children, pushing grandma off the cliff, racist innuendo, collapse of social structure all contribute to the fear that often grips us.  What often occurs is that those fears are put out there, but no solution is offered.  Disagreement is fine.  Disagreement without solution is not fine. 

            POSITIVITY.  Willie Nelson said, “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”  The Dalai Lama wrote, “In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.”  Easily said, you say, but I believe those are powerful words.  When a positive spin is put on certain situations it often transforms the scenario.  That does not mean to say that we should always walk around with a rainbow on our shoulders, but rather look for that elusive silver lining.  I like Walt Disney’s quotation on optimism.  “I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.”  I believe that one needs to be aware that life’s bed of roses will always have some thorns.  We need to all cease being Eeyores with woebegone attitudes, but rather emulate Pooh and be happy with our jar of honey.  Actually, I prefer being a Tigger and bounce through life with abandon and glee.  Realistically we should all strive to be like Christopher Robin, full of logic and love. 

            Good Manners.  Realizing that what passes as good manners varies among different cultures I will limit myself to what I consider to be good manners in the American culture.  However, I will say that it behooves us to be cognizant of different traditions and actions.  For example, while living in Thailand we were careful not to touch anyone of the shoulders or head and not show the bottom of my feet in public.  In this country there is a basic set of good manners.  I know “times they are a’changing,” but good manners boils down to respect for others.  We have become a nation of people who puts their elbows on the table and uses the cell phone at the table.  Doors aren’t opened, eye contact is non-existent and blatant disrespect is rampant.  I can hear you shouting to me through the computer, “RESPECT MUST BE EARNED!”  That’s true, but disrespect is never appropriate.  I have not watched late night TV for years because of the disrespect shown for our national figures.  You can run right down the line of past presidents who were victims of the barbs of erstwhile comics.  Kennedy was a womanizer, Johnson and Bush were hicks from Texas, Carter was a peanut farmer, Clinton was (fill in the blanks), Obama was a wimp on international affairs and Trump is (fill in the blanks.)  I must say that I have never witnessed such vitriol spewed as with Presidents Obama and Trump.  What really bothers me is how this is affecting the youth of our country.  What bothers me even more is that some parents are even encouraging disrespect.  People are seeing this around the world and that is discouraging.  We are losing civility.  Those very ones who carry the banner of free speech are the ones denying it.  Ironic, no?  Despite all this I remain confident in our country.  The number of good and loving people far outweighs the others. 

            The Golden Rule is the answer.  Treat others as you would have them treat you.  Diversity is a gift.  Rejoice in our differences and celebrate our freedoms and opportunities.  First and foremost maintain you integrity, your positivity and good manners.